Before looking at a house to buy, look at the neighbors

The contemporary world signals a behavioral tendency to distance ourselves from people, and so we are permeated with fear and loneliness.
When it comes to being intimate with neighbors, the arguments are justified by the following words: noisy; gossipy; they walk their dogs without leashes and vaccinations; they only know how to reproach others, in other words, they adopt that Arab proverb that says: “Before examining the house to buy, examine the neighbors”.
Unfortunately, there are people who don’t know how to respect others, creating discord and disharmony.

Cíntia Brunelli is a law and advertising professional who tries to make all Brazilians aware of the law.
According to her, when you have a noisy neighbor, with a disturbing sound, and you try to talk to him in every way without success, the first step is to inform yourself that the laws protect the right to peace and quiet.
And, in a polite way, you can draw up an extrajudicial notification, in which you will warn them of the damage they are suffering as a result of the disturbing situation.

If the disturbance continues, you can record videos, go to the police station and file a police report, which can later serve as evidence, since there is a law on criminal contraventions, article 42 of which talks about the legal consequences of those who do not respect their neighbor’s right to quiet.
Dialogue is important, because if you don’t know the law, the person who is using the loud music can later be summoned by the Special Civil Court to face a conviction or even pay compensation for moral damages, depending on the seriousness of the conduct.

“What about you? Are you firm and strong in your emotional and social ties with your neighbors?”

Sometimes we even know that a neighbor’s family member has died, but we don’t care, we’re indifferent, because it’s better to be connected with someone we don’t even know and who lives in London, than to pay a visit in solidarity to the neighbor.
And the justification is: Ha!
I don’t even know my neighbor’s name…

There are also those who proudly make a point of saying that “my neighbor is so-and-so”.
And those who think that “the neighbor’s grass is always greener”.

When Roberto Carlos wrote about it, he spoke of a dream he had in which he went into his neighbor’s yard and planted a flower, and the next day he saw that his neighbor was smiling.

“If you get sick at 3 a.m., can you count on your neighbors?”

Scientific research affirms that the social construction of a good neighborhood brings benefits to everyone, and contributes to the ethical values of solidarity, fraternity, compassion, kindness, and understanding, among others.

The interesting thing is that everyone wants to exercise their citizenship, but most people only know how to demand their rights, forgetting that citizenship also involves “duties”.
In this sense, we have our duties towards our neighbors, even if they don’t fulfill them.
For example, if your neighbor is in the ICU with his father, will he be able to rest so that he can be in the hospital the next day, when you disrespect a condominium rule and turn up the music loudly in celebration of a birthday, and exceed the established time of 10 pm?

Are your neighbors part of your network of contacts, projects, collective work flows, or your social life?

Politeness in social relationships is the basic norm.
So why talk at the elevator door when there are other people who have to leave to keep their schedules?
Why scare people with your pet, when the rule is that they must wear a muzzle in the elevator, as well as being on their owner’s lap, as they can get the better of someone.

So a good morning greeting, a smile, an excuse me, a please, opening a door when you notice that your neighbor has their hands full, is always welcome.
Lack of elegance is only looking at one’s own navel, which is called alienation.
That’s why today’s top social rule is the fight against corruption.
What could be worse than knowing that a sum of money that would, for example, benefit several elderly people, has been embezzled by a citizen who is going to use it for his own benefit?
And don’t think that this only affects the elderly, this behavior will have repercussions on you, on the payment of your taxes, and on society as a whole.

But what about your neighbor at work?
Don’t they also deserve your cooperation, discretion, kindness and consideration?
What marks are you leaving on your neighbors?
Of a polite and considerate person?
How would you rate the doorman at your place of work?
What about your neighbors in the building?

“Everyone is responsible for the harmony of the whole, and for the peace it brings to the world”

What are we doing to improve the place where we live?
This is called social awareness, which means being aware of the concerns and needs of the people around us.
It’s not about selfishly looking out for our own particular interests in isolation from others.

“When the neighbor’s house is on fire, my house is in danger” horácio

Our safety also depends on the actions of our neighbors.
Imagine a neighbor who forgets to turn on the stove and rushes off to work?

Also consider the possibility of arriving drunk, talking loudly, creating discord, and arguing with all the neighbors, people you’ll have to live with for a long time.
What an unpleasant environment for everyone, right?

“He who has a glass roof doesn’t throw stones at his neighbor’s”

Imagine that you’ve used the barbecue grill in your building and left it dirty, and everyone has seen it.
Can you complain because they threw ice cream and garbage in your car?

“Code of ethics for interpersonal relations: treat others as you would like to be treated”

Memory tells us about the feeling of gratitude we feel when we remember a good deed we have received.
So, when we remember that person, by the law of reciprocity, we will reciprocate according to their conduct.
However, there are exceptions.

To illustrate the exception mentioned above, I’ll cite an example that happened to me.
I had an assignment at university, I was late to hand it in because I also had to go to the hospital to accompany my brother to a risky surgery.
I rushed out and passed my neighbor without even saying hello.

After college I went to the hospital, the surgery took a long time, and when I saw it was already evening, I went to the cafeteria and met the neighbor I had seen that morning.
She told me she worked at the hospital, and I told her I was waiting to hear from my brother.
We said goodbye, and later, when I was sitting on a chair, swinging my legs anxiously, I could feel a friendly hand telling me: relax, go home and rest, everything is fine with your brother, my neighbor said.

As the Old Warrior Chacrinha once said: “WHO DOESN’T COMMUNICATE, TRUMPS”.

We need to pay attention to others in order to learn, to accept and welcome our human failings gently and not harshly, to have compassion for people when they make mistakes, and to use our mistakes to learn how to get things right.

“Think back to when you were a child, you played, you fell, and you got up without pride or guilt, just certain that you had the right to try again”

The above-mentioned sentence was written by Amaral (2020). The author emphasizes that guilt provides this ability to understand our faults and remake ourselves.
It’s not about martyring yourself for stumbling, it’s about getting up and learning to do better.
That’s what a fall is for, for us to improve our performance, so we can’t let it stop us from achieving our goals.
He highlights the example of psychopaths, who, because they don’t use the resource of guilt, continue to repeat their destructive behavior without evolving.
In this sense, guilt can be a liberating agent of transformation.

To put the lessons I’ve learned into practice, I invited my neighbor over for coffee, with the treat of a delicious cake, a way of thanking her for her gesture of solidarity that made a difference to my day.
Now, I pass the torch to you: do something to make your neighbor’s day a pleasant one.