The process of self-compassion involves first making a choice and then constantly living it.
For many years of my life I called myself a compassionate person, because I sympathized with other people’s problems, I felt empathy and I tried to help others in some way, sometimes without even knowing if they wanted to be helped.
Until, in the process of self-knowledge, I came across the need to feel more self-compassion. I realized that in order to have self-love and to exercise self-care, I needed to take a special look at self-compassion.
And so, in a challenging and at the same time beautiful journey, I chose to stop criticizing myself, self-sabotaging myself, punishing myself, lashing out and mistreating myself with self-accusations. Yes, the process of self-compassion involves first making a choice and then constantly living it.
What would it be like to turn every fact of life into a learning process under the gaze of self-compassion?
Life presents you with countless everyday possibilities for exercising self-compassion: starting a diet and giving up at the first offer of chocolate; wanting to be patient and blowing up at a coworker, husband, wife or child; being overly cautious and making a technical error at work; taking care of all the details and letting food burn for lack of attention, etc. Everyone here can think of situations in which they use the “whip” on themselves and spend hours or sometimes days ruminating on the “mistake”, an attitude that contributes to their self-deprecation, causing deep discomfort in living.
What would it be like to turn every fact of life into a learning process under the gaze of self-compassion? What would it be like to take yourself in after every uncomfortable action, say “it’s okay”, not judge, resignify and move on?
Ahh, to judge or not to judge! Yes, self-compassion involves non-judgment. How about reflecting on the trial? I realize that the process of judging everything and everyone is, in a way, automatic. In the face of life’s events and facts, thoughts of judgment arise all the time. However, from the moment we increase our self-compassion, understanding that everyone has their own challenges in life, their own trajectory and that they use the repertoire of their knowledge and experience to act in the face of facts, we start not to judge the other, or to judge less, lol.
Self-compassion involves choice and exercise, bringing more lightness to life
I like to say that not judging is the quickest way to the freedom we dream of. You free yourself from the need for someone else’s approval and your life starts to flow more naturally and meaningfully.
Choice and exercise. Choice and exercise. Choice and exercise. Self-compassion involves choice and exercise. I first chose it and now I practice it all the time, and I’ve realized that the process of self-compassion is becoming more natural, faster and more intuitive every day and has brought the lightness I was looking for to my life.
And lightness opens up a beautiful space for building new possibilities in life. Without punishment (to you and to the other) and without judgment (to you and to the other) it is possible to trace paths of lighter and more genuine achievements, more congruent with who you really are.
Faced with all this experience, today I realize that my view of others has changed.
Another point about self-compassion is related to allowing yourself to be who you really are and realizing how great you ARE. To allow yourself to look at, get to know and value your qualities, skills and talents, exercising them in a natural and intentional way.
When I started exercising my self-compassion, I realized that my eyes began to see my qualities, skills and talents more naturally and I realized that I could choose to use them to contribute more to the fulfillment of my dreams and to my evolution as a person, as well as to help others and the community.
Faced with all this experience, today I realize that my view of others has changed. I can see compassion being lived out in a more genuine way. I can look at the other person with their challenges, without being so judgmental, understanding that everyone has their own “cocoon” to break and putting myself at the other person’s disposal, if they so choose my help.
And now I invite you to ask yourself a few questions and realize how much they resonate within you. Don’t worry about the answers, just notice and feel the resonance of each question within you.
- Do you live self-compassion?
- Do you exercise self-compassion?
- What would it be like to choose to live self-compassionately?
- What would it be like to choose a state of presence that allows you to exercise self-compassion?
- What does it take for self-compassion to be a constant attitude in your life?
- What would it be like to make your compassion more genuine by exercising more self-compassion?
- What would it be like to have a more welcoming outlook (towards yourself and others)?
- What would it be like to swap rumination for welcome?
- What would it be like to feel freer?
- What would it be like to realize the greatness of your BEING?
- What would it be like to look more at your qualities, skills and talents?
- What does it take for you to be able to use your qualities, skills and talents more to your advantage and for the community?
- What would it be like to live more lightly?
- What would it be like to expand into a more creative space?
- What would it be like to simply let life flow, without ties and attachments?
- What would it be like to open yourself up to a life of infinite possibilities?
This text is not intended to provide ready-made concepts, but rather to share part of my process of self-knowledge with the aim of provoking reflections that can help you in your process of flourishing.
